I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
