guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
