So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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