Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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