shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize