My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
