How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
