Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize