he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
