Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
