I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
