Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
