yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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