so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
