Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
