Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
