I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize