His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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