i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
