wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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