I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
