all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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