I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
