You're my little dorito
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
