you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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