The maid of honor just puked.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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