Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
where does the pee come out of this thing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
