Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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