What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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