so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
