moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Life is so much better after having sex.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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