I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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