I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
