I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
