Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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