I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
