how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
