Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
