I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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