I want to make a zoo with you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
