It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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