dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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