we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And then he peed in my hair
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