Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
