she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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