so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
