My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
