omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i think my cat just said my name.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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