Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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