Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
