Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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