all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize