Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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