Porn is love you can see.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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