You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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