can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
