I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
