I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize