Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize