So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize