Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
