When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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