just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
